I have come to the conclusion that love is but only an idealistic concept...
My mom said earlier I shouldn't be so cynical about love at my age but even at 22 years old I have encountered my fair share of heartbreak, being messed around and cheated on.
I'm not one to expect miracles, I don't expect my knight in shining armour to ride in on a white horse and to sweep me off of my feet.
Neither do I expect to experience love at first sight, and then in turn some true love romance to blossom and get married and live happily ever after.
But it would be nice to meet someone who would like me for me, for my strange and twisted mind, who could accept me for me flaws and all.
Someone with no ex hang ups, no trust issues, and just be completely sane, laid back, and mentally sound.
I always seem to attract people with issues and people who still have feelings for ex partners.
I mean I know you can't help what you feel, don't get me wrong, Ive been there.
BUT I am not your rebound tool, I'm not someone who can be used to pass your time because you can't get that 'one who got away' etc.
Urgh I don't know, I had 'the one who got away' but y'know what, life goes on.
You just don't dwell, you get on with life. Shit happens.
Over a year passes you kind of just realise... its not going to happen maybe I should get over it and move on with my life. Because it's just sad if you dwell on something forever.
Its not healthy.
I don't know, I'm going to make the most of my life, continue with college, go to uni and get a good job and do something with my life.
I won't let anyone mess up my dreams.
I'm not intentionally cynical, but if there is someone out there meant for me, they will come to me, and prove themselves. So til then I shall wait, and I will pursue my dream of studying Japanese at University. I've only been waiting 11/12 odd years to do it.
"Seiza no matataki kazoe
uranau koi no yukue"
Janine. xxx
